Beautiful Birthday

I'm officially another year older, and happy as can be.
I got everything I wanted for my birthday. I took the day off of work, and spent it with Keith (and the dogs). Keith and I had a wonderful lunch, and spent the better part of the afternoon strolling down the streets of Long Grove. It was so wonderful to be able to spend uninterrupted time with him. There is no one else I would have rather spent the day with. To top it all off, the weather was beautiful! A perfect day.
Yesterday, Keith and I and my parents went to Mass at Fr. Britto's church in Evanston. It was a beautiful Mass, the music was good, and the homily was wonderful. After Mass, Fr. Britto joined us for lunch at an Indian restaurant. Later on in the day I was at my parents' house for cake with them, Keith, and my brother Mike. It was wonderful spending the day with them.
The only imperfection in my birthday was that Tommy was unable to be here this weekend. He and I will be celebrating next weekend, so all is well!
Thank you to everyone who made aging another year so wonderful!

Newness, Reorganizing, and Trimming the Fat

This has been a week of changes!
Even in the midst of a great job, great boyfriend, great dogs, great family and great friends, I've been in kind of a rut. I've been slowly digging myself out of it, but I've grown impatient and decided to make some changes.

For absolutely no reason what-so-ever (except maybe my addiction to HGTV) I decided to rearrange my bedroom. I got this urge at 9:30pm. I then spent the next two hours moving every piece of furniture in my bedroom around. The end result is great! I really like the new layout of the room, and the dogs now have their own little space. It's great! I've even been sleeping better.

The next day, I decided to cut and color my hair. Now, the color didn't turn out *exactly* how I wanted it. It's much more drastic than I had intended. So drastic, in fact, that nobody even noticed that I cut about 4 inches off of my hair. Though the end result was a bit shocking, it's really kind of growing on me, and in the end, I feel more confident. Out with the old, in with the new!

The day after that, God decided to do some tree trimming. Our area was hit with some massive storms. One right after the other. Entire trees (mature trees) have been completely uprooted, and smaller trees are snapped in half. Everything is flooded and some roads are downright impassable, due to both flooding and barricades of trees. Siding has been ripped off of houses, and fences are destroyed. It's the most damage I've seen from a storm that wasn't a tornado in quite some time. 70 mph winds are nothing to mess around with! After the damage though, there's that feeling of renewal. People are working together to help each other, and it emphasizes the things in life that are really important, and those that are not. There's a strange peacefulness in the midst of the chaos after the storm.

I've also been trying to focus much more on the relationships in my life. I'm wanting to really nurture some great and budding friendships, rekindle some old ones; and also recognize the relationships that maybe are not the best for me spiritually. That last part is hard. It is, however, interesting to see the contrasts of a lot of people in my life; good and bad.

What is my point with all of this? I'm getting myself out of my rut! It seems to me that I really did need some change in my life. Even though these changes are quite small, they've done a world of good for me. It's made me excited again to see what each new day might bring. It's been a while since I've felt this way, and I realize now that I've missed this feeling.

It's good to be back!

To Be or Not To Be....

... In this show.

It's hard being Catholic in a profession that's not exactly known for embracing Christian values. Sometimes, the reasons that you give for your actions (or lack of actions) are met with blank stares and utter confusion. Sometimes, people accept what you've said in front of you, and then talk to everyone about it behind your back. Rarely, people just accept it, and don't think any differently of you, and respect your decisions. This is a rarity but it does happen on occasion.

In my quest to deepen my spiritual life, I've been paying more attention to the decisions I've been making, especially in areas of my life where I've been blinded by passion. One such area is theatre. Theatre is not only what I do for a living, but it's also what I do in my spare time. It is my passion. My love and excitement for it sometimes make it difficult for me to make sound decisions based on my relationship with Christ...but I'm getting better! They say that Satan works in subtleties, and that was so apparent to me this week.

This week, I was offered a role in one of my favorite Shakespeare plays. Not only that, but the director decided to turn a wonderful male role into a female role, and that's the role it was. It doesn't happen often for actresses that we get this opportunity. The male roles in Shakespeare are usually so much better and meatier than the female roles, with the exception of Lady Macbeth and a few others. To get the opportunity to perform one of these roles is a dream. The catch with this offer was this: There is scene where the character in question removes her shirt, revealing her exposed back. Her back is to the audience at all times, with a possible side view, but the way that it's staged would not allow for anything (besides band aids) to be worn in the front. I understand the scene, understand the bit, and understand how funny this bit would be, however, I found myself wrestling with this. I'm OK with my back being exposed. I'm OK with costumes that are pretty revealing. (I've worn a lot of them in my time). This was different though. The purpose of this scene is to tease. Five years ago I wouldn't have even given this a second thought, and would have gone for it. Now, I find myself thinking about the situation in a much different light.

I'm always complaining about actresses in Hollywood having to compromise their morals to get roles. I've always said that I would never do that. No role is that important. I thought about my relationship with Christ, and how that relationship should guide this decision. Still, I found myself really struggling.

As I type this, I realize that I sound like such a prude, but that's not it. I really just felt uncomfortable with it. I found myself thinking about the teens that I work with at church, and the kids that I work with in the drama program where I work. What if one or some of them heard I was in a show and came to see me? What kind of message would it send? THAT'S what sealed the deal for me.

I ended up declining the role. This was painful for me. I love the play. I love the role. I respect the director a great deal (He's a comic genius). I miss being on stage and this would have been a fun and wonderful return for me. It was like a dream on a silver platter. In the end, all of this wasn't worth the compromise.

I don't regret the decision. I feel I made the best choice. My loyalty is to God, not to the theatre, however tempting it may be. This has shown me that I really have been growing in my faith. I had doubts that I was, but this reassured me.

In case you are wondering, the director is the rare type in this business. The one who accepted my decision without thinking any differently of me. He respected it and is still open to me doing shows with him in the future. I thank him for assuring me that you CAN still be Catholic and not shut out of this business.

Great Loss

It's been a week now since the pastor of my parish passed away. After all of the shock and commotion, it's finally starting to sink in. Fr. Art was a great man and a great friend to me. He helped me through one of the roughest times in my life, and for that I will be eternally grateful. He was that rare person that could bring a smile to anyone's face at anytime. He had a great love for his parish and lived life enthusiastically. The whole parish loved him. We all have a lot to learn from him.

As I sat making plans for tomorrow, I found myself getting excited to see Fr. Art at Mass tomorrow morning, and then I realized that I won't see him. I still can't comprehend life without him, and I know a lot of people are feeling the same way. Although I know that he is with God, in my own selfishness, I miss him.

Thank you Fr. Art for taking the time to be my friend, and thank you God for letting him into my life. Take good care of him.